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Saturday, February 21, 2009

I should have said…

Steve Sorensen
(Originally published in the Warren Times Observer, February 21, 2009.)

People who insist they are
“telling it like it is” usually aren’t.

All of us have those “I-should-have-said” moments -- leftover thoughts that were never spoken. We also have random thoughts -- for me, ideas that don’t develop into an entire column. Here are a few of my leftovers, seasoned with some random thoughts.
When I’m deer hunting I’m usually thinking about what I can do to overcome the deer’s three main defenses. (Except for those times when I lapse into carelessness.)
Sight -- A deer’s eyes often don’t differentiate between objects that are stationary. Advantage goes to me.
Hearing -- Deer are constantly hearing lots of sounds, all the time. Animals, leaves, vehicles, wind. Advantage is even.
Smell -- The deer’s nose is the hunter’s number one consideration when deer hunting. Hearing and sight work together to confirm danger. Smell is reliable enough to work alone. Advantage goes to the deer.
Whenever I’m stand-hunting and not seeing deer, I wonder, “How far away and in what direction is the nearest deer?” When I’m still-hunting I wonder, “How many deer have allowed me to walk right by them?” When I’m hunting a spot with enough deer tracks to look like Grand Central Whitetail Station, I wonder, “Where could all these deer have gone?”
Some things that go by the name “knife” aren’t really knives. A butter knife isn’t a knife. It’s made to connect things, not separate things. In my world it connects peanut butter to English muffins. In your world it may connect butter to bread, jam to a biscuit, or frosting to a cake. If I had my way, I wouldn’t call it a knife.

On second thought, in my world this is something I CAN have my way on. I’ll call it a spreader. Or a blade -- a butter blade. Or maybe a trowel. Yeah, that’s it -- a dinner trowel.
Some people say that men don’t “love” things. They enjoy things. They appreciate things. They get pleasure from things. Well, I’m sorry. There are some things I love. I love deer hunting, people, family, God. I try to keep that in reverse order.
Why do some people feel free to disparage others who live in trailers? We’ve all heard the uncomplimentary term for that. You don’t find many mobile homes in the city. So, I wonder -- do people who use that term have a condescending attitude toward rural America? Is it really any worse than those who spend a lifetime in urban government housing? I can think of ways in which mobile homes are actually much better.
People who insist they are “telling it like it is” usually aren’t. They’re telling it like they think it is, or like they want you to believe it is. There are few exceptions to this.
Speaking of exceptions, I have no idea what the phrase “the exception that proves the rule” means. Sounds like nonsense to me.
Also, speaking of exceptions, some lawmakers think they’re exceptional. But sometimes they’re clueless. If they don’t understand something simple like firearms, how can they understand something complicated like the economy?
Get ready for another assault on firearms freedom. State legislators in Illinois want to force gun owners to buy a million dollar liability insurance policy, or lose their right to own a firearm. Yep -- as though someone who misuses a firearm can’t already be sued under current laws. This law would simply transform the victim of a theft into the perpetrator of a crime.

It would mean thousands (maybe millions) of law-abiding citizens who have a low income or a fixed income could not afford to exercise a basic constitutional right. Many more could not afford to participate not just in hunting, but in any legitimate shooting sport. Or self defense.

That sounds like a good idea -- IF you own stock in insurance companies. So, while we’re at it let’s also require million dollar liability insurance for hammers, knives, screwdrivers, rope, baseball bats, hockey sticks… the list is endless. We could require every bottle of beer to be insured, every pack of cigarettes, every medication sold in America.

We’d no longer have to worry about accidents. Just let accidents happen and then pay the victims.
Anyway, those are some of my leftovers. I hope there’s one you like.
Cure your cabin fever by attending a sport show. Here is a calendar of some of the shows in our region:
February 18-22, Allegheny Sport, Travel & Outdoor Show at the David Lawrence Convention Center in Pittsburgh, PA.
February 21-22, Kinzua Outdoor & Travel Show at the Bradford Mall in Bradford, PA.
February 28, Chautauqua Turkey & Deer Hunting Expo at Chautauqua Suites in Mayville, NY.
March 6-8, Erie Sport & Travel Expo at the Bayfront Convention Center in Erie, PA.
March 12-15, Western New York Sport & Travel Expo at the Fairgrounds in Hamburg, NY.
March 20-22, Ohio Deer & Turkey Expo in the Bricker Building at the State Fairgrounds in Columbus, Ohio.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve, "the exception proves the rule" makes no sense because it is a mistranslation. The original latin translation should be "the exception probes the rule". Using the proper translation it now makes perfect sense, at least to me.

12:43 PM


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